Good Boss, Bad Boss: from whom did I learn more?
Most of us hold fond memories and inspiring lessons from the leaders we have had the privilege to work with in the past. But there is also a wealth of wisdom hidden in our experiences with bad bosses, even though sometimes we'd much prefer to forget it!
In coaching sessions with my clients two very common questions are: who are you as a leader? and, what kind of leader would you like to be? Followed by perhaps a less obvious, but even more pressing: what kind of a leader do you NOT want to be?
As August invites us to reflection and taking stock, I wanted to share a more personal account of leadership lessons bestowed by some of my best and worst bosses. Of course, they were never all good or all bad. They all displayed a reassuringly human, fair share of displeasing and compelling qualities. For the purpose of this article however, I will focus on the decisive characteristics that defined them as leaders and most impacted my experience.
Lesson I. Good Bosses Never Underestimate The Human Factor
One of my bosses offered me steady practical and moral support when I got pregnant. I also felt safe that there would be a job for me to come back to after maternity leave. Yes, it is our legal right here in the UK, but not a practical reality I witnessed when working in the US, Spanish, or Polish markets, or even in some of the more cut-throat British industries.
There is a palpable difference between someone going through the motions of what's legally required of them - but quietly resents you for the hindrance of your audacity to have a personal life, and a boss who genuinely supports your wellbeing and sees the bigger picture. Regardless of whether it's pregnancy, mental health struggles or dealing with grief - empathy and compassion cannot be faked, and often make or break great leaders and consequently, their teams. Great leaders understand that the human factor is the engine driving any business forward, and that ultimately the organisation means nothing without its people.
The support I received from my boss, kept me fully engaged (and flying across continents to get the job done) until late pregnancy. I was stretched on many levels but felt valued and respected. I wanted to complete the next stage of our global project before leaving it to my substitute. When I look back, I am not really sure how I managed but am convinced that the support I received was pivotal to my productivity and effectiveness, and contributed to an empowering experience of pregnancy as a whole.
Lesson II. Good Bosses Don't Feel Threatened By Others' Expertise
This boss wasn't an expert in my field and was aware that it wasn't their responsibility. They let me get on with my job and didn't meddle with my remit, unless it was to offer resources or gain necessary leverage with challenging stakeholders across the wider organisation.
This meant I was often out in deep water, sometimes took risks and made mistakes. But oh gosh, did I learn quickly. Everyone on our team had a sense of ownership of their remit. The trust bestowed upon us meant we really did become experts in our fields. Not just because we had to, but because we wanted to prove our boss right. There is nothing more motivating than your boss trusting in your skills and knowledge to get the job done well.
This trust and the ability to recruit beyond their own remit of expertise, meant my boss could focus on the strategic growth of our department, adapt his support as per individual need, and secure necessary funding and leverage to get our projects through the pipeline.
Lesson III. Bad Boss Will Force You To Grow Beyond Your Comfort Zone
I often say that ''I was blessed with a toxic boss'' because if it wasn't for that person, I wouldn't have made some very uncomfortable decisions that forced me to grow and reach, what felt at time like, impossible goals. My bad boss propelled me to leave the organisation I admired, shift career focus and start my own business, which I'd been planning for years. I would probably still just be talking about it, if not for this blessing in disguise. Real growth happens when the discomfort of your current situation is greater than your fear of failing upon taking the risk. Conversely, it's also when what you desire is greater than your current comfort.
The downside of this is that of course, bad or toxic bosses will drive out committed workforce out of organisations they otherwise admire. The cost to the organisation is huge – acceleration and increase of staff turnover, fragmentation of solid teams, loss of trust and efficiency, and potential loss of reputation in the industry (where the staff will migrate to), or even amongst the clients.
Lesson IV. Bad Boss Will Teach You About Your Boundaries and Values Like No Other
Bad bosses have a way of getting under your skin to see what you are really made of. They make you realise what you stand for and what you can’t stand. Thanks to my bad boss I realised I wasn't going to accept anything less than decent human behaviour, regardless of someone’s position. It wasn’t even the way I was treated, but the completely unacceptable way that they were treating other colleagues who had failed to meet impossible expectations with constantly moving goal posts.
So, whether your key values are social justice, equality in the workplace, or just good-old fashioned respect, with a bad boss you are bound to find out your bottom line at record speed.
In another organisation, two of my fellow colleagues and I were exposed to a rather classic and consistent form of bullying by a senior stakeholder. That person was not our direct boss but we were all responsible for a project that required their direct input and approval. Even though each one of us adopted a different strategy to cope with the bullying, we became close friends and bonded upon a common adversary. We are still in touch many years later – the silver lining being that a bad leader can help you land some genuine friendships!
What does this mean for you?
In the latest #harvardbusinessreview, The C-Suite Skills That Matters Most, authors emphasise that the desired skillset of successful CEOs requires much more robust social skills than ever before. This means that leaders need to communicate with a plethora of internal and external stakeholders, adjusting their language, delivery and anticipating reactions effectively. To put it simply, they need to be good with people. This is due to a number of factors, such as increased organisational complexity and relatively new expectations that the CEO will take a public stand on political, controversial, diversity and inclusion issues.
I would take it a step further: effective communication, ability to motivate your team and being in integrity are the foundation blocks of a good leader on any level - be it managerial or C-suite. Technical expertise matters, but it can (and should be!) be outsourced, distributed and shared amongst team members. Regardless of your faults and flaws, if you genuinely believe in your people, are able to trust and inspire them - you will be remembered as a good boss and make a positive impact in careers of many.
If you would like to learn more about leadership from others who have done it before you, and avoid some of their most common pitfalls, download my free guide 3 Key Mistakes CEOs Make & What To Do Instead.
Finally, I invite you to reflect upon your own experience of bad and good bosses. What made them good or bad? What did you learn from them, and what do you choose to incorporate into your own leadership style?
Warm wishes,
Natalia
Published by Natalia Mank, Rise To Success Newsletter on the 23rd of August, 2022